God...where did i go? God i'm here.i'm back.i'm coming back.God where did I go!how could I let you wait.how could i do such a thing to you? God you loved me so much yet I chose to turn my backupon you and go my own way.God ...i'm sorry.how could i do such a thing.for i don't know how long i let you wait and wait.and all i wanted to do was to do my own thing.to do whatever i liked.i fell in love with the world.and out of of love with you.

GOD I LOVE YOU STILL BUT I'VE NEVER PROVEN IT SO FAR.

GOD I'M SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF.im feeling convicted,yet broken and...a failure.iv failed you.if iv ever failed anyone.it's you.i need a true change of heart.my heart...it's been so far from God.what is my heart's desire Lord?you know.im struggling with the Lord...stop me.embrace me.where has my love..my passion for you and everyth about you gone?where has the girl who loves the Lord so much gone?where..am i?

where has my heart gone,Jesus?

...if i leave it be,destroy it and give me a new heart.it's as good as gone for now.it's worthless.make me anew.renew in me the love of God.a strength that comes from the Lord,not a strength that i try to draw upon myself.

everything iv come to admire.come to revere.is not of God.i worship the world with the attitudes of my heart.iv turned my face from the Lord and dropped the Bible like it means nothing more to me.im no better than an unbeliever.

God....

iv gone astray.and all i want to do is turnaround and walk straight back to you.to run.

to....be back with You...

God i'm sick and tired of the world.show me mercy..show me hope..show me love.

Lord,please.

Lord..i need you.

i can't do it on my own.

iv failed you as i am..

God..but i know you still love me.and that you're still the God of the impossible.

God of love.God of hope.God of mercy..

God of me.

God..

what have i built my life upon?...

let it be the Rock of salvation.nothing other.

let me know you,Jesus.

change my heart.

lead me in your purpose.your will for my life.

break me.shake me.make me.

God,let everything I say to you now,..may i mean it.

I meant everything I just said Lord.

please..

grant me a spiritual earthquake.

in your time,but im ready as of now.i don't want to wander any longer.

In Jesus' Name I pray,
amen.  ¶ 9:46 PM 0 comments

  rain(: so sorry i haven't been blogging in ages.but yeah been spending my days watching fullhouse,which iv now completed,and engaging in interesting side projects like the christmas musical publicity and the church vid.gonna start working on that soon.

aiya.i can't think of anyth cept how hot rain is for now.i think iv watched his it's raining video like 5 times already or sth.but i have to admit,it's time to start thinking and focusing on my missions and the church stuff.the play time of this holiday fever has to end soon.

if this rain doesn stop,when will my spiritual revival ever begin?

small eyed,sweet smiling,baby-faced boys -- get behind me! especially if you've got a hot bod and equally hot moves to boot.  ¶ 8:43 PM 0 comments