born to blade;raised to FLY
20060810
to my Father
as i walk the earth,i find an increasing unhappiness.and exponential decline in the satisfaction life's pleasures can bring.the more fun i seek to fulfill my life the less joy i find remaining within my heart where Jesus lives.the more i fall away from God the further i sink into the world and it's storm of distractions,deceit and disillusion.for far too long have i neglected focussing my eyes on God.for far too long i have looked at my bible and said,tomorrow's just another day.and the more i resist turning myself back to God the more human i become.the bigger the flesh lion.
...dear God.im tired,im weary..im dying of hunger,but mostly im dying of thirst.i cannot live without you any longer Lord..i cannot survive in this desert..this world that is devoid of your nourishing power as it rejects your love and turns towards the devil.and Lord if i am falling away from you,who else am i falling into but the devil's clutches Lord..who else is there prowling like a roaring lion, waiting to steal kill and destroy me as i step out of your protective hold?that night at FOP father,i closed my eyes and wondered how i cld ever worship you in the state i was in,the state that was empty,dry and of the world..the world you love but the world whose sin you detest.and the more i let myself enter this world..and the more i allow myself to be a part of it and apart from you..the more you cannot reach me Lord,the larger the barrier i put up that prevents me from experiencing your blessing.oh God but i know you love me.and i know that you will save me if i cry out for your help..because i want back Lord.i want back.i don't want to linger without purpose and belief on this lonely planet any longer..a desert where im dying to drink..yet i deny myself that drink.i miss the Bible..i miss being able to just dwell in your presence and be saturated with your love,your peace and your joy.your immense joy Lord.i long to be back where you are.to just soar with you,to be given strength,to trust in you and walk with you.all the days of my life.and right now i find myself limiting myself to mere happiness i find in friends,having a certain form of godliness but denying its power.iv traded my joy for happiness in these days Lord.iv demanded my share of blessing like a prodigal child,gone out far away from you and squandored all that blessing of good friends,laughter and pleasure.yet at the end of all this im only more empty than ever,out of control and totally screwing up everytime i make an attempt to coax myself back to the steering wheel.i keep crashing and wrecking my life,keep convincing myself iv found the key but nv finding my way back to where i need to go..which is you.i know i need you Lord.but i act as if i don't.im lonely,unfulfilled and unhappy.i find no joy in relationships.i get angry fast,and angrier faster.and that's because my most important relationship,with you,is not exactly very right right now.and God i really want to correct that error.i don't want to grow into the world and its sin.i want to grow seperate from the world and a part of your grace and glory.to live for you and to experience the purpose driven life.im tired of floating aimlessly day by day.i don't want to keep on searching for life's methods of living for today.if i ever want to live life to the fullest Lord,it's gotta be for YOU.help me change..bring me back to you and give me another chance.forgive me for the times iv succumbed to sin and uphold self-righteousness.for acting as if there's no God..im but a fool for that Lord.one major idol i have Lord,is my life.now i live to fulfill my own life.i live in the best ways i know how so that i can be satisfied with my life.im not just looking for a good life Lord.im looking for a great life.and it's only drawing me further and further from the calling you have made for me.to give up all right i have and follow Jesus.and all i do is horde treasure on earth and attach myself to my life here..and all that im meant to live for,which is so much more..is forsaken.i have forsaken your call and pryed myself away from you without even realizing how harmful my seemingly harmless actions can be..isn that what you warn us about Lord?that you never know where the devil might attack..because in this world there's more right than wrong,and what's wrong has become right in the world's eyes..and when such delusionment comes in masses..the devil uses this herd mentality to fool us Christians into believing that as long as everyone..and really..practically everyone everywhere around you..is doing it..it's so harmless in our eyes now that we just jump the bandwagon thinking it's perfectly normal...oh God we don't even know what's right and wrong any more Lord.the devil has erased those lines and it's even harder now to discern right from wrong..it's a great evil.and God i don't want to be a part of any of this.i have..and im ashamed of having not picked up the warning sensory signals of the Holy Spirit because i was too deafened by the cacophony of the world's music to hear you telling me that im inching that toe out from your protective umbrella..thinking it's okay even if i get a little wet from the essence of the world..that it won't hurt me.but it is a powerful evil Lord that sweeps this place.and it has lured me out in its harmless form as everyone's laughing and having a good clean time..evil has taken a clean form that is so easy to not see through.and im sorry for having even compromised my faith one bit Lord.just one tiny bit and i was almost lost forever into the crashing sea of sin and spiritual filth.i took my eyes off you Lord.i took my eyes off you and i started sinking.and now im scared Lord.but i have faith in you and i just want to let you know..that i want to come back.please save me Lord.save my soul.and may i grow closer to you..fill me with your Holy Spirit.grant me a generous portion of the Spirit's conscience.that i may be able to detect the wrong that has been disguised as right.that i may no longer walk unknowing in a land that is boobytrapped with pitfalls that the devil lays out without the covering of the Holy Spirit and the blood of Jesus Christ.God...please saturate me.and may i always worship you in spirit and in truth.let me not serve any one else but God.that i will have no other gods before you.You are my God,Lord.i want to live for you alone.
in Jesus' name i pray,Amen.
Love,Joanne. ¶ 9:02 PM 1 comments
...dear God.im tired,im weary..im dying of hunger,but mostly im dying of thirst.i cannot live without you any longer Lord..i cannot survive in this desert..this world that is devoid of your nourishing power as it rejects your love and turns towards the devil.and Lord if i am falling away from you,who else am i falling into but the devil's clutches Lord..who else is there prowling like a roaring lion, waiting to steal kill and destroy me as i step out of your protective hold?that night at FOP father,i closed my eyes and wondered how i cld ever worship you in the state i was in,the state that was empty,dry and of the world..the world you love but the world whose sin you detest.and the more i let myself enter this world..and the more i allow myself to be a part of it and apart from you..the more you cannot reach me Lord,the larger the barrier i put up that prevents me from experiencing your blessing.oh God but i know you love me.and i know that you will save me if i cry out for your help..because i want back Lord.i want back.i don't want to linger without purpose and belief on this lonely planet any longer..a desert where im dying to drink..yet i deny myself that drink.i miss the Bible..i miss being able to just dwell in your presence and be saturated with your love,your peace and your joy.your immense joy Lord.i long to be back where you are.to just soar with you,to be given strength,to trust in you and walk with you.all the days of my life.and right now i find myself limiting myself to mere happiness i find in friends,having a certain form of godliness but denying its power.iv traded my joy for happiness in these days Lord.iv demanded my share of blessing like a prodigal child,gone out far away from you and squandored all that blessing of good friends,laughter and pleasure.yet at the end of all this im only more empty than ever,out of control and totally screwing up everytime i make an attempt to coax myself back to the steering wheel.i keep crashing and wrecking my life,keep convincing myself iv found the key but nv finding my way back to where i need to go..which is you.i know i need you Lord.but i act as if i don't.im lonely,unfulfilled and unhappy.i find no joy in relationships.i get angry fast,and angrier faster.and that's because my most important relationship,with you,is not exactly very right right now.and God i really want to correct that error.i don't want to grow into the world and its sin.i want to grow seperate from the world and a part of your grace and glory.to live for you and to experience the purpose driven life.im tired of floating aimlessly day by day.i don't want to keep on searching for life's methods of living for today.if i ever want to live life to the fullest Lord,it's gotta be for YOU.help me change..bring me back to you and give me another chance.forgive me for the times iv succumbed to sin and uphold self-righteousness.for acting as if there's no God..im but a fool for that Lord.one major idol i have Lord,is my life.now i live to fulfill my own life.i live in the best ways i know how so that i can be satisfied with my life.im not just looking for a good life Lord.im looking for a great life.and it's only drawing me further and further from the calling you have made for me.to give up all right i have and follow Jesus.and all i do is horde treasure on earth and attach myself to my life here..and all that im meant to live for,which is so much more..is forsaken.i have forsaken your call and pryed myself away from you without even realizing how harmful my seemingly harmless actions can be..isn that what you warn us about Lord?that you never know where the devil might attack..because in this world there's more right than wrong,and what's wrong has become right in the world's eyes..and when such delusionment comes in masses..the devil uses this herd mentality to fool us Christians into believing that as long as everyone..and really..practically everyone everywhere around you..is doing it..it's so harmless in our eyes now that we just jump the bandwagon thinking it's perfectly normal...oh God we don't even know what's right and wrong any more Lord.the devil has erased those lines and it's even harder now to discern right from wrong..it's a great evil.and God i don't want to be a part of any of this.i have..and im ashamed of having not picked up the warning sensory signals of the Holy Spirit because i was too deafened by the cacophony of the world's music to hear you telling me that im inching that toe out from your protective umbrella..thinking it's okay even if i get a little wet from the essence of the world..that it won't hurt me.but it is a powerful evil Lord that sweeps this place.and it has lured me out in its harmless form as everyone's laughing and having a good clean time..evil has taken a clean form that is so easy to not see through.and im sorry for having even compromised my faith one bit Lord.just one tiny bit and i was almost lost forever into the crashing sea of sin and spiritual filth.i took my eyes off you Lord.i took my eyes off you and i started sinking.and now im scared Lord.but i have faith in you and i just want to let you know..that i want to come back.please save me Lord.save my soul.and may i grow closer to you..fill me with your Holy Spirit.grant me a generous portion of the Spirit's conscience.that i may be able to detect the wrong that has been disguised as right.that i may no longer walk unknowing in a land that is boobytrapped with pitfalls that the devil lays out without the covering of the Holy Spirit and the blood of Jesus Christ.God...please saturate me.and may i always worship you in spirit and in truth.let me not serve any one else but God.that i will have no other gods before you.You are my God,Lord.i want to live for you alone.
in Jesus' name i pray,Amen.
Love,Joanne. ¶ 9:02 PM 1 comments
