born to blade;raised to FLY
20060514
butterflies and the boy
basically,i hope my life is changing for the better.just the other day i was praying for God to send me someone to help me out with my little messed up and sad life,and last night i kinda ended up talking to meng abt my life issues and it was a fantastic breath of air.
to think it started off with him saying sth wrong and me getting very hurt and angry and blocking him.then while i got rach to tell him to make a good apology,he went to stuff his face with noodles and i got even more pissed.so i just went offline,listened to emo song konstantine sent by zwing.sent meng a 'do u haf anyth to say' msg then i went to the toilet,thot abt how this was a little unbearable and decided to just call him.considering i took an hour to get down to doing so and thinking he was probably happily sleeping and unaffected..i hoped to awaken him and blast an explanation out of him.
the story goes that he was in the process of thinking what to reply me and did pick up on almost first ring.he as usual cld not really get anyth he really wanted to say out cos his brain kept breaking down half way.so he was like saying 'actually i feel that you know ..i dunno' (sth along those anticlimax lines) and he thot i had been crying so he was quite scared and din noe wat to say.i had not been crying.
and yeah so we talked things out,despite his brainlag,brainspoil and braindying state.said a lot of things that enlightened me and touched me.he seriously is really wise for a guy (a very nice asshole!!hahaha) and typo'd verbally (negativity is ur greatest barrel...burial.....BARRIER).made me sigh,made me cry and made me laugh again.iv never revealed such innermost thoughts b4 to anyone that deeply and heartfelt.did complain once to tinsley..but this morning's (3a.m.) talk was probably the deepest iv ever gone with anyone abt my most vulnerable side.
meng thinks i cut myself.HAHA.the joke abt cutting ourselves once we hung up was a good one man! hahaha.he was saying to think of butterflies (which i bet means think of you right) whenever i got sad and to just keep running on.so when i woke up this morning thanks to the 9 30 alarm i set for zheng's xbox controllers' sake..i thought things thru again.and suddenly decided to go for a run.meng was in spirit all the way.(:
so i thought of pale purple,pink and faint green butterflies and kept running.
now,i found the butterfly song by mariah carey.used to like it quite a lot.but now that i look at the lyrics do i realize that i was telling rachel after that meng-getting-a-girlfriend episode that i felt that he was just this butterfly i was keeping in a glass jar,and one day id have to set him free.and this totally coincides with his butterfly thing yesterday,just that it din occur to me how both ends met and he actually made a lot of sense saying to think of butterflies and him or sth.gosh,we're good.
basically,i hope my life is changing for the better.just the other day i was praying for God to send me someone to help me out with my little messed up and sad life,and last night i kinda ended up talking to meng abt my life issues and it was a fantastic breath of air.
to think it started off with him saying sth wrong and me getting very hurt and angry and blocking him.then while i got rach to tell him to make a good apology,he went to stuff his face with noodles and i got even more pissed.so i just went offline,listened to emo song konstantine sent by zwing.sent meng a 'do u haf anyth to say' msg then i went to the toilet,thot abt how this was a little unbearable and decided to just call him.considering i took an hour to get down to doing so and thinking he was probably happily sleeping and unaffected..i hoped to awaken him and blast an explanation out of him.
the story goes that he was in the process of thinking what to reply me and did pick up on almost first ring.he as usual cld not really get anyth he really wanted to say out cos his brain kept breaking down half way.so he was like saying 'actually i feel that you know ..i dunno' (sth along those anticlimax lines) and he thot i had been crying so he was quite scared and din noe wat to say.i had not been crying.
and yeah so we talked things out,despite his brainlag,brainspoil and braindying state.said a lot of things that enlightened me and touched me.he seriously is really wise for a guy (a very nice asshole!!hahaha) and typo'd verbally (negativity is ur greatest barrel...burial.....BARRIER).made me sigh,made me cry and made me laugh again.iv never revealed such innermost thoughts b4 to anyone that deeply and heartfelt.did complain once to tinsley..but this morning's (3a.m.) talk was probably the deepest iv ever gone with anyone abt my most vulnerable side.
meng thinks i cut myself.HAHA.the joke abt cutting ourselves once we hung up was a good one man! hahaha.he was saying to think of butterflies (which i bet means think of you right) whenever i got sad and to just keep running on.so when i woke up this morning thanks to the 9 30 alarm i set for zheng's xbox controllers' sake..i thought things thru again.and suddenly decided to go for a run.meng was in spirit all the way.(:
so i thought of pale purple,pink and faint green butterflies and kept running.
now,i found the butterfly song by mariah carey.used to like it quite a lot.but now that i look at the lyrics do i realize that i was telling rachel after that meng-getting-a-girlfriend episode that i felt that he was just this butterfly i was keeping in a glass jar,and one day id have to set him free.and this totally coincides with his butterfly thing yesterday,just that it din occur to me how both ends met and he actually made a lot of sense saying to think of butterflies and him or sth.gosh,we're good.
¶ 2:32 PM 0 commentsWhen you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you to become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
-Mariah Careyhow rather apt it all is,really.
