born to blade;raised to FLY
20050415
take your sweet sweet time
iv listened to that jesse mccartney cd like a million times already.im so tired out today.esp after this week.just,totally zoned out.i just DUNT feel like picking up a book to revise sth.im just SO TIRED.like,world-weary or sth.
perhaps its cos i went running.i bet i hit 3 km la.it was so long.anyhow,im such a lousy runner! :( my stomach hurt like crap la.oh wells.was so sweaty.then i played pingpong after dinner.got sweaty AGAIN.i bathed a grand total of 3 times in a period of 6 hours today.i must be very clean now.
i think iv had a terrible week.nth great or sth.like,nth outstanding and good at the same time.the most interesting thing abt this week wld be my detention.im the first class rep to go for detention.maybe it'll mark my end of classrep-dom.i was like,quarelling with ms goh over the unfairness of it all.whatever la,dun wanna talk abt it too man.yes,it was bcos of my socks.i hate them la.theyre too big for me and are simply GROSS.
oh and mrs low is pregnant.how interesting.but shes my chem teacher.
im quite sian of this rush rush rush STUDY STUDY STUDY scheme.it entirely sucks the life out of me,yet i still cant stop bcos its not over yet.it hasn even started.feeling so uptight and resistant to more work,basically cos im pissed off cos my mums cell member needs to borrow my laptop tonite,SHIT la.after i was looking forward to a nice night of just slacking online in my aircon room,and she just has to spoil it.i almost cried in frustration bcos i din exactly haf a very easy week.i spent my week having tests.napha,2 chinese tests,geog quiz,chem test.nonstop la.its SO tiring.and napha 2.4 next week,dunt want to fail cos it'll be a waste to lose my chocked up pts at the moment for 5 items.so i went running lor,but doubt its really gona help.i duno,sometimes i wanna look at this whole running shit as a personal race with a personal timing,but so far im not convinced cos its not beating the system at all.
iv been saying shit a lot.im sorry God.really.iv no excuse to use it.
sigh.
no matter how frustrated and depressed and PMSey i feel,i cant escape the fact that any slacking now is gona cost me later.i mean its this really really sh*tty race that im tired off.always rushing to complete assignments,planning like sh*t for every day of my life,and trying to keep up with my schedule,get those tests well studied for,keep healthy and exercise,do TUITION hw (timeless failure)...
today i must just feel so tired of this big mad rush.i cld cry in desperation to PLS JUST LET ME HAVE SOME TIME OFF FOR MYSELF TO JUST REST.my body is crying out for SLEEP SLEEP,but on the other hand my mind is calling out BREAKTIME SLACKTIME,but my brain is like FEED ME,JONK,FEED ME!my subconscious is messed up.it says STOP PUSHING ME I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE vs TEST NEXT WEEK OH SHIT TEST NEXT WEEK HURRY STUDY STUDY GOT LOTS OF HW UNDONE!
dear God,im sorry for saying shit but im really very world-weary.im sorry and il try to stop saying it.esp on my blog.and in real life,whatever.but yeah pls be my strenght man.i cant take this anymore.im so tired.i cant run on my own steam.iv burnt out.carry these burdens Lord.and im still sorry for saying shit so often.i guess the only real shit arnd here is me.im sorry.and pls bring some compassion,humility and overflowing energy for me right now.be my purpose in life Lord,bcos everything else down here on earth so cant satisfy my quest for forever.sometimes i totally don't know what im talking abt anymore.sld i just sleep? im sorry that iv been so caught up with my life that i forget that ur supposed to be the hand that holds it.i act as if i don't know you,and im sorry God,uv nv forsaken me.yet i have forsaken u many times.thank you for all the things you have shown to me this week,how uv saved me,how ur so real.help me apply it to every second of my life.thanks God,in Jesus' name Amen.
now pls excuse me as i go plan for today and tmr.at least i got the running done.thats a relief.
i wanna fly looking in your eyes -beloved jesse ¶ 9:15 PM 0 comments
perhaps its cos i went running.i bet i hit 3 km la.it was so long.anyhow,im such a lousy runner! :( my stomach hurt like crap la.oh wells.was so sweaty.then i played pingpong after dinner.got sweaty AGAIN.i bathed a grand total of 3 times in a period of 6 hours today.i must be very clean now.
i think iv had a terrible week.nth great or sth.like,nth outstanding and good at the same time.the most interesting thing abt this week wld be my detention.im the first class rep to go for detention.maybe it'll mark my end of classrep-dom.i was like,quarelling with ms goh over the unfairness of it all.whatever la,dun wanna talk abt it too man.yes,it was bcos of my socks.i hate them la.theyre too big for me and are simply GROSS.
oh and mrs low is pregnant.how interesting.but shes my chem teacher.
im quite sian of this rush rush rush STUDY STUDY STUDY scheme.it entirely sucks the life out of me,yet i still cant stop bcos its not over yet.it hasn even started.feeling so uptight and resistant to more work,basically cos im pissed off cos my mums cell member needs to borrow my laptop tonite,SHIT la.after i was looking forward to a nice night of just slacking online in my aircon room,and she just has to spoil it.i almost cried in frustration bcos i din exactly haf a very easy week.i spent my week having tests.napha,2 chinese tests,geog quiz,chem test.nonstop la.its SO tiring.and napha 2.4 next week,dunt want to fail cos it'll be a waste to lose my chocked up pts at the moment for 5 items.so i went running lor,but doubt its really gona help.i duno,sometimes i wanna look at this whole running shit as a personal race with a personal timing,but so far im not convinced cos its not beating the system at all.
iv been saying shit a lot.im sorry God.really.iv no excuse to use it.
sigh.
no matter how frustrated and depressed and PMSey i feel,i cant escape the fact that any slacking now is gona cost me later.i mean its this really really sh*tty race that im tired off.always rushing to complete assignments,planning like sh*t for every day of my life,and trying to keep up with my schedule,get those tests well studied for,keep healthy and exercise,do TUITION hw (timeless failure)...
today i must just feel so tired of this big mad rush.i cld cry in desperation to PLS JUST LET ME HAVE SOME TIME OFF FOR MYSELF TO JUST REST.my body is crying out for SLEEP SLEEP,but on the other hand my mind is calling out BREAKTIME SLACKTIME,but my brain is like FEED ME,JONK,FEED ME!my subconscious is messed up.it says STOP PUSHING ME I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE vs TEST NEXT WEEK OH SHIT TEST NEXT WEEK HURRY STUDY STUDY GOT LOTS OF HW UNDONE!
dear God,im sorry for saying shit but im really very world-weary.im sorry and il try to stop saying it.esp on my blog.and in real life,whatever.but yeah pls be my strenght man.i cant take this anymore.im so tired.i cant run on my own steam.iv burnt out.carry these burdens Lord.and im still sorry for saying shit so often.i guess the only real shit arnd here is me.im sorry.and pls bring some compassion,humility and overflowing energy for me right now.be my purpose in life Lord,bcos everything else down here on earth so cant satisfy my quest for forever.sometimes i totally don't know what im talking abt anymore.sld i just sleep? im sorry that iv been so caught up with my life that i forget that ur supposed to be the hand that holds it.i act as if i don't know you,and im sorry God,uv nv forsaken me.yet i have forsaken u many times.thank you for all the things you have shown to me this week,how uv saved me,how ur so real.help me apply it to every second of my life.thanks God,in Jesus' name Amen.
now pls excuse me as i go plan for today and tmr.at least i got the running done.thats a relief.
i wanna fly looking in your eyes -beloved jesse ¶ 9:15 PM 0 comments
